Computers-Draft One
Computers are playing an important role in our daily life. We can see films, listen to music, and play many different games. Therefore, computers can instead of many electronic devices, they can save a lot of money. We can also chat with friends or other people in the Internet by using e-mail or messenger that we will not use the cell phones frequently. Besides, if having a computer, we can get information all over the world. Personally, I have a liking for computers. Because I can relax my mind by playing on-line games, listening to music, and reading some comic books by using the computers. Moreover, I can do my homework easily and conveniently without using some stationery. And then I can increase my knowledge by read some meaningful articles. To be sure, computers have become essential friends in my life.
posted by Dora at 8:42 PM
4 Comments:
"in the Internet by using e-mail or messenger that we will not use the cell phones frequently"
maybe you can change into
"on the Internet by using e-mail or messenger so that we will not use the cell phones frequently"
"Therefore, computers can instead of many electronic devices, they can save a lot of money." change into "Therefore, computers can save a lot of money, instead of many electronic devices." is better.
"We can see films, listen to music, and play many different games." 加一個 "by using them"比較好
"...,we can get information all over the world." should be "....from all over the world"
"We can also chat with friends or other people in the Internet by using e-mail or messenger that we will not use the cell phones frequently."-->"We can also chat with friends or other people by using e-mail or messenger on the Internet ..."
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